Why do I feel empty when I have so much going on?
They say you teach what you need to learn, and that statement could not be more accurate from where I stand. I've been on a journey of relentless emergence – to find my voice, my worthiness, and my place.
I've studied, practiced, and taught countless forms of the same thing from ancient wisdom to neuroscience, only to barely scratch the surface of what is to be known, much less understood.
In the last few years, I found myself studying with a mentor who patiently deals with my endless intellectualization, self-importance, and turbulent inner world.
It took me two years just to understand that what we were doing was more than I bargained for or could wrap my “educated” mind around. My ego is held to regular reckonings, and my brain is taxed with teachings.
Along the way, he suggested that I read a deceptively simple-looking book by Red Hawk called Self-Observation, which led me to read another book by the same author, Self-Remembering.
I am taught that these two practices alone comprise what is necessary to evolve (ergo become more myself, less reactive, more connected and grounded in the material world even as the metaphysical realm makes itself more visible to me).
This week, back by popular demand, I had Red Hawk on The Intuition Incubator. Though he refers to himself as an idiot (in the sense that we are all idiots being driven around by our egos), his wisdom, as far as I'm concerned, is beyond measure. We talk about all of the above and more.
I have listened to the episode three times already because my mind is too dense to take it all in, and I must practice in real life in between to see for myself if what he says resonates. It does.
So many of us walk around with full calendars and empty hearts. This episode is an invitation to stop performing and start observing—to remember yourself.
It's real. It's raw. And it might be precisely what you didn't know you needed (or maybe that's just me). Regardless, tune in to enjoy, ponder, stretch, or maybe just commune.
https://www.abbyhavermann.com/podcast/e51
